Stay Calm, Stay Focused, And Keep Asking Yourself; What’s The Next Most Important Thing I Need To Do?

The other day I was sitting in the sun enjoying a cloudless blue sky and brilliant sunshine, staring lazily at the world around me, thinking about nothing in particular, just letting my mind rest and my body enjoy the warmth of the sunshine.

Sometimes I think Superman and I must be related, a good dose of sunshine recharges me too, it's a remedy for everything and gives me life.

As I was sitting there, all empty head and morning stares, my thoughts drifted over an endless flow of different things like cool water over pebbles in the mountain stream.

I saw some a couple of young people nearby and remembered when I was that young and how back then, especially at 21, how mature I felt, like I'd arrived at adulthood.

I was doing all the things that I’d equated with maturity, working, driving, and living with my boyfriend of the time, keeping house and generally being an adult in every way, no longer looking to my parents to take care of my needs.

Nothing about how I was living or who I was as a person then offered any glimpse of how I am living now or who I have become.

It got me wondering what I’d say to graduating university students?

We've all read or listened to all the great speeches by famous people to graduates and it’s always so wise and inspiring, and I wondered what mine would be?

So here it is,

MY WORDS OF WISDOM TO A GRADUATING CLASS AND TO YOU DEAR HEART WHO IS READING THIS TODAY;

Well done on getting to here.

You’ve studied hard, applied yourself and had to work things out on your own.

I hope you’ve had a great mixture of family support and being left to stand on your own 2 feet and discover life for yourself. The biggest part of growing comes from the ‘hardships’ of life.

But really, there are no hardships, just moments when we have to find our mental, emotional and sometimes physical, resourcefulness.

Those moments when you have to ‘get off the couch’, pull something new out of yourself and show yourself who you are and what you can do.

If you were a Ferrari, you’d see that you’re life so far has been just getting you ready to leave the showroom floor.

It's time now to get out on the open road and get a few bugs on your windshield.

You’re mature and responsible.

You’ve grown through your awkward teenage years and you’ve blossomed into your twenties.

You’re making choices and decisions for yourself. You’re in the driver’s seat of your life.

Now you can look back on your teenage years and see how far you’ve come and how adult you are in this moment and feel the strength of that growth.

Right now, life’s just getting started; it’s all just kicking off for you.

LIVING LIFE LARGE

No one can know what will happen between now and the rest of your life.

But the 2 most important things to have with you always is your plan and the wisdom to know the difference between planning and controlling.

Think about the big BIG picture. It’s not about the house you live in or the car you drive. It’s not even about the career or job you choose. They’re only the results of the life you choose to live. They are the vehicles that give you the experiences that you want in your life.

The reality is that if you think about all things, it will help develop the bigger picture.

If you want to live in the country, then the kind of work you do will have to fit that lifestyle. If you want to send your children to private schools, that’ll impact the kind of work you do as well as where you live. If you want to be a stay at home dad/mum, you’ll want a partner who wants to be the provider for the family or a job that allows you to work from home.

What you’re planning for your life is all mixed in together so continuously asking yourself good questions is the best way to create your life.

WHO YOU ARE EVERY-DAY OF YOUR LIFE

Of course, it’s impossible to in your 20's and know what you'll want when you're 40 or 80. There is no way you can tell at 20 what experiences you’ll have or how they’ll shape you by the time you reach those ages.

The person you decide to become is decided each and every day of your life as you have your different experiences and adventures and from the people you meet, in person, in books, movies, sports, and the media. Like them or not, they will all shape who you become.

But when you make a decision or choice about anything ask yourself ‘What will this provide for me? Is it the money, the challenge, the opportunities…something else…whatever it is, the next question is…what’s that going to provide for me? And, then to the answer you get, ask again, what is that going to provide for me??

Eventually, the answer you’re going to get is an experience that you want to have in your life…..perhaps it’s freedom, happiness or love. Whatever it is, know that that is what you’re striving for, not the specific ‘thing’ you’re using as a vehicle to get you there…does that make sense??

Remember, The reason for the goal is the goal.

LEARN TO MASTER TRANSITIONS

Life is a constant series of transitions. You transition from one thing to the next in your normal daily routines and from one thing to the next throughout your life.

Some are transitions you choose, some are not. Some are easier than others.

Wanted or not, all transitions require a period of settling in, then it's time to get moving.

Every phase of your life will bring with it new experiences and adventures.

The key is to get moving as quick as you can. People spin their wheels far too long and then they get bogged down. Keep your wheels moving and you'll avoid getting stuck.

THERE WILL BE LESSONS ALONG THE WAY

There will be times you’ll question who you are and the choices you’ve made. It's so very normal. You're not the only one who ever questions their life.

Understand that and you'll walk through those times with ease and clarity.

Don't resist. Just let it take you where it's going to take you.

Assess the situation, update your plan and get going.

CHECKING THE REAR-VIEW MIRROR

I don’t know where you’ll end up but every time you look back over your life, I hope you’ll see where you’ve had courage, confidence, determination, resilience, and persistence.

I hope you’ll see that regardless where you find yourself you’ll know that there wasn’t any place that you took a wrong turn, no time you turned left but should've turned right, that you'll see that where you are is exactly the place you need to be and if there is any uncertainty about where you find yourself, that you can not only find comfort but clarity, that life is a journey, ultimately out of our control.

You’re only responsibility is to make the best choices you can on any given day about everything. From how you spend your spare time, what you eat and drink, how you behave, how you treat your body, who you have or don’t have in your life, how you treat the people and the world around you, what you say or don’t say, what you spend your money on, how you earn your money and who you are in every aspect of your life.

Be open to new information, be flexible, keep an open mind and take care of your body and brain, they matter the most.

How you start is not how you finish.

Where you began is not where you are now.

Where you are now isn’t where you’ll always be.

Nothing is fixed.

The most important thing is to keep going.

It’s your ability to keep going, to keep looking for the next right thing to do, the next right thing to allow into your life, your ability to keep picking yourself up by your bootstraps if you have to, keep moving yourself along and continuously revise any plan you have because no one knows how things will go, you can only look in the direction you want to go and keep moving towards it.

LIFE IS DISCOVERY

You didn’t come here with a map in your hand.

You create the map as you go.

Only in hindsight, when you step back and look at the whole picture will you be able to appreciate the valleys you’ve crossed, the mountains you’ve climbed, the places you’ve discovered, the tribes you’ve been a part of.

Everyone you meet will shape you in some way. You’re the shapeshifter; you get to choose who you become.

Life is all about making plans, revising those plans and understanding the difference between planning and controlling. Remember that.