For years, I’ve struggled with a behaviour that still has the potential to blindside me, leaving me reeling as I deal with the inevitable fallout.  

Despite all the work and therapy, I’ve done over the past 25 years, this behaviour feels like an indelible stain on my nervous system.

Even in moments when I should feel safe and supported, it can still pop up like a jack-in-the-box, impacting my relationships and sense of self.

Having looked after many rescue dogs in the past, my behaviour often reminds me of theirs—animals, despite living in a loving home, can still react with fear when triggered, causing them to bite those they love. I know I’m not alone in feeling this way.

Even though I’ve made tremendous progress, I feel like a failure and a fraud when this behavior reappears.

Here I am espousing Personal Health Leadership™, yet struggling to lead myself in these moments....

I love the middle of the year. 

June and Dec are Reality Check time for me to see if my daily habits and behaviours are in alignment with the ambitions I've set for myself. 

DATA QUEEN 

For as long as I can remember I've been the kinda gal who loves to collect data. 

I've changed many things in my life and I've always collected some kind of data about the changes I was making. 

Unfortunately, I was tracking my results rather than my behaviours. 

BEHAVIOURS PRODUCE THE RESULTS 

Tracking results is a poor yardstick for creating change as it only shows success or failure. 

Results are either in favour or not in favour of a desired outcome. 

The easiest example I can give you is from my 25 years on the yo-yo dieting hamster wheel. 

I used to track my weight and measurements as well as keep food and...

It’s a great time to be alive!  

Thanks’ to the tough, strong, courageous, collaborative, determined, resilient and committed women who pioneered the Women’s Liberation Movement in the 60’s – 70’s, they significantly improved the status and opportunities available to women today. 

50+ years later, we are living lifestyles that our mothers and grandmothers may not have even dreamed about in regards to enjoying fulfilling careers, following personal interests, and rising to C Suite levels.  

And therein lies the conundrum that often leads to women in the 40’s and 50’s walking away from careers they’ve worked so very hard to build.  

We were raised in the best of times for opportunities and choice, by women with strong family values of domesticity, modesty, nurturing, caregiving, and homemaking.  

I read somewhere a perfect way to describe the women from...

 
Sometimes food is all we’ve got. That tasty takeaway lunch, that chocolate, cake, caramel latte, the wine and cheese after work….sometimes that’s the only thing we’ve got for pleasure, the only thing we’ve got to look forward to. And there’s nothing wrong with that.  

Things are challenging at the moment, cost of living is flying high and there’s never a good thing to read in the papers. We feel like there’s more pressures at work, in our relationships, with our kids, and not to mention long commutes and all of life’s admin that we need to attend to. It’s hard to find time for rest, let alone relaxation and genuine fun times isn’t it?  

Sometimes food and alcohol feel like they’re our greatest friend, bringing us that little bit of comfort throughout our day.  

But what if that friend is the kind of friend you’d be better off...

Why do we walk away from careers we’ve worked so hard to build?  

We’re tapped out, that’s why.  

By the time we’ve hit our 40’s, we feel like we’ve gone 20 rounds with Mohammed Ali, when we thought we’d feel like a woman who is succeeding at life. 

We’re mentally, emotionally, physically, spiritually, depleted.  

Our nervous system is shot and we feel more like an empty sack of potatoes than the happy, fulfilled woman, whose proud of her accomplishments, that we were striving for. 

How do we navigate the chaos, build our stamina, resilience and happiness in midlife when we: 

• Aren’t able to pull ourselves out of our slumps 
• Lead a sedentary life 
• Work flat out 
• Feel under constant pressure 
• Just drink caffeine for breakfast 
• Don’t have time to meal prep  
• Buy our lunch most days 
• Eat it...

Joseph asked me on Linkedin “Have you found any surprising joys in your Dietless Living journey that you didn’t expect?” 

Yes, I have. 

When I found the way to overcome those desires to eat, it turned out I also found the way to overcome a lot of other issues, mostly anxiety and depression and when that happened I was able to live out some wild ideas I had but that I never thought I ever could or would.  

When I found the way to overcome those desires to eat, my life actually progressed. 

I thought I wanted freedom from my weight. Crikey, that had been my main objective for so damn long, I hadn’t thought of anything else, but it wasn’t losing the weight per se that changed my life, it was developing my Personal Health Leadership™:  

• System 
• Skills 
• Mindset 
• Strategies  

It was from developing the ability to overcome that...

What if I said I had a time machine and you could go back to anytime in your past?

You can't change anything. 

But you can bring back with you whatever experiences you'd like. 

What would you bring forward into your current life so you can experience it again? 

You're not going to bring back the terrible ones are you? No way. 

Yet re-living the unhappy experiences from the past is what your mind does, over and over again.  

WHY DO WE DO THAT? 

Because when things don't go right, when things don't go the way we'd like them to, our brain can get very focused on trying to work out why it didn't' go the way we wanted, how we got taken by surprise, how we got taken advantage of; emotionally, financially, physically, spiritually or even mentally. It does it so you can avoid the same thing happening again. That’s its job to do that.  

But it...

 “Where do I go from here? I’ve tried so many things, I’m afraid to try anything else, I just can’t cope with the disappointment of failing again. I don’t know how I got here and I don’t know how to get out.”   

That was me 13 years ago, lost.  

I’d literally tried dozens of weight loss programs, looking for the something that would work for me, something that would give me the forever results that I was looking for.   

I’d lost all sense of direction, I didn’t know which way to go, there were so many differing opinions about what was the right way to eat and exercise, I’d tried most of them and honestly, they just didn’t fit my lifestyle or what I wanted.  

I was no longer the uneducated 21-year-old who knew nothing of nutrition, fitness, or any of the other elements needed to be healthy and...

Happy Easter!  

I always think of Easter as a gift. It's permission to take some well-needed and well-earned time out, to step away from the hamster wheels we’ve been running on and do whatever floats our boat. It’s where we get to regroup and recharge our batteries, however, that looks for you. 

Whatever you’re doing, simply enjoy yourself and forget about the Easter eggs, its’ just chocolate after all. It might be in fun shapes and glittery wrappings and boxes, but, it’s still the same chocolate that you can buy any old day of the year.   

Even I find myself looking at the glamorously wrapped offerings on the shelf and feeling the familiar tug of feelings and excitement that yes, Easter is coming;  “I’ve been working hard, a little smackeral of a bunnies ear would be a tasty treat, and don’t I deserve one of those beautiful Easter eggs in boxes?”  

But...

 Throughout my 25-year struggle with weight I did all kinds of exercise: 

• Bootcamp 
• Running 
• PT sessions 
• (Lots of) cardio 
• Yoga 
• Hot Yoga 
• Aerial Yoga 
• Body combat classes 
• Body pump classes 
• Circuit training 
• Spin classes 
• Aerobics 
• Aqua aerobics 
• Kettlebell workouts 
• Stair running 
• Martial arts 
• HIIT training 
• Strength training with weights 
• Strength training using calisthenics 
• Tennis 
• Softball 
• 12 week challenges 

So which of those was the best for losing weight?  

HERE’S WHAT I LEARNED 

All of them can contribute to weight loss, but rather than thinking about losing weight, it’s better to think about why you want to lose weight.   

The reason you want to lose weight will help you decide what type of exercise you should select.  

Do you want to lose...